i think im the type of person that finds something great then, even after its time is past, i cannot let it go. somewhere between my heart and my head, the wires get crossed, the messages confused, and thus each feeling gets stuck within my body, no way of being released.
sometimes its conscious. i keep writing; i keep thinking; i keep looking at pictures and rereading cards; in doing so i know im forcing the feelings through my veins and closing every route of escape. i know it, but dont try to stop me; ive tried.
yet when the stars reach their brightest points and everything rests still upon the night air, my unconscious reigns and again i feel the pulse of it all. in my dreams you still want me and look at me like you used to; im different and you tell me so with your eyes. but when i wake, the touch of your hand has been replaced by a slight breeze against my skin and the cover's embrace. if only dreams would give themselves over to those who desired their truths deeply enough; i would tell you you were handsome and you would tell me i was enough.