Wednesday, June 29, 2011

psalm 13

im just not me least, not as much as usual.
this summer has just been an exhausting, trying period of life.
though it isnt a long semester, i feel overwhelmed and tired almost all the time.
when im not at work, clinic, or class (either 8am-5pm or 8am-8pm depending on the day), im at home studying, writing a paper, planning a session, or editing photos. and when none of the above is taking place, i crash.
within the past 2 days i have been asked "tell me about your life! i wanna hear about you!" and "so, how are you??" i am left with nothing to say. i dont feel as though i have anything to tell. even if i did, i kinda feel a bit too drained to imagine wanting to embellish on my life.
several days i just find myself on the verge of tears...set off by nothing in particular...
i have never been more ready to not be a student. 18 years of enrollment is long enough...

one thing im so thankful for is the cd "to see the curse remove"; this is a cd put out by the journey that contains music written by worship leader jon yerby. while at the cd release, i listened to his description of this compilation of music....he said that we remember things better when they are put to music. thus, he wanted to write songs that directly quote scripture, and reflect the character of god (without all the fluff that typically goes in to christian music). he wanted to write songs that would get stuck in our heads, so that we would constantly be singing & preaching to ourselves who god is, the words he has spoken, and the way he views us.

that happened for me today. while feeling this heavy, downcast "thing", the first thought that popped into my head was the song "psalm 13" from that album, which is literally psalm 13 directly quoted and put to music. i thought "how long o lord, will you forget me forever?" but then, the passage ends in hope and reassurance. here is the entire passage for you to reflect on. if you are feeling defeated, i hope this helps & comforts you in the way that it has me:

 1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? 
   How long will you hide your face from me? 
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts 
   and day after day have sorrow in my heart? 
   How long will my enemy triumph over me?

 3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God. 
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 
4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” 
   and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

 5 But I trust in your unfailing love; 
   my heart rejoices in your salvation. 
6 I will sing the LORD’s praise, 
   for he has been good to me.

1 comment:

Maria said...

Jordyn! I just saw this post. Love it. and YOU. On literally the worst day of my life, I opened the Bible and opened to Psalm 13. It will always hold a special place in my heart. Literally pulled me through....